Class: Firefly X
by Goldylokz
Summary: A parody of Joss Whedon's TV series Firefly then movie Serenity staring characters from XME. Join our favorite unregistered mutants as they try to make a living under Alliance radar. Starring Logan, Ororo, St. John, Wanda, Kitty, Scott, Remy, Rogue & Prof
1. Prelude Casting Call

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.

* * *

**CLASS: FIREFLY X - Prelude**

A single white piece of paper was posted on the inside of the front doors of three different residents. How it got there, none of the occupants could guess, especially given the high security systems at two of the places.

The heading on the paper read "Class: Firefly X Cast and Call Backs". Below that, in smaller writing, it said, "A parody of the Joss Whedon masterpiece." Then came a short description of the series before a list of characters and names:

Capt. Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds - Logan 'Wolverine' or Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau  
Zoe Washburne - Wanda 'Scarlet Witch' Maximoff  
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne - St. John 'Pyro' Allerdyce  
Inara Serra - Ororo 'Storm' Monroe or The Rogue  
Jayne Cobb - Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau or Lance 'Avalanche' Alvers  
Kaylee Frye - Kitty 'Shadowcat' Pryde  
Dr. Simon Tam - Scott 'Cyclops' Summers  
River Tam - The Rogue or Jean Grey  
Shepherd Book - Professor Charles Xavior

"What is this?" Jean Grey asked.

"A casting list," Rogue stated the obvious.

"But I never auditioned for anything."

"I think it sounds fun," Kitty bubbled.

Scott joined the discussion. "What sounds fun?"

"A parody of 'Firefly'!" Kurt exclaimed. "Vho am I?" He scanned the list, but was disappointed not to see his name. "I'm the only one here vho vatched the show and I'm not on the list!"

"Maybe you'll get some guest spots later," said Kitty the optimist.

Kurt pouted. "I should be Wash. I'd make a great Wash."

"Who's this Inara character, Kurt?" Rogue asked

"She's a companion. Fancy for high-class prostitute."

"What?! How can Ah be on call back for playin' a prostitute? Ah can' touch anyone!"

"It's probably because you'll have so much, like, unresolved sexual tension with Gambit, who's up for Captain Mal," Kitty guessed.

"For the last time, Ah do not have a crush on Remy!"

"That's why it's called unresolved," Kitty replied.

"I didn't know you watched the show too," Kurt said to Kitty.

"Caught it on DVD. I'm so glad I get to play Kaylee."

Jean added her thoughts on the cast. "I better beat out Rogue for River. I mean, Scott and I already have chemistry off-stage, so it wouldn't be hard to play his wife on-stage." Scott blushed while Kurt and Kitty giggled. "What's so funny?" Jean asked.

"River is Simon Tam's crazy psychic little sister, not his wife."

"That's disgusting! I'm not playing Scott's little sister!" Jean exclaimed.

Rogue was laughing with the other two now. "Ah think it's funny."

"Only you would find incest funny." Jean commented.

Meanwhile, on the shadier part of town in a dilapidated mansion, four boys rolled on the floor laughing. "Jean. . .gasp. . . could be . . .gasp . . Scott's sister!"

The laughing did not stop when the Scarlet Witch descended the stairs. She stepped over the laughing carcasses to the door. She looked at the paper posted on the door. "What's this?"

Pietro immediately realized the severity of the situation and tore the paper off the door before Wanda got to the cast list. "Nothing. Nothing at all, dearest sister. Why would you think it was anything? Because it's nothing. Absolutely - " Pietro was hexed into the closet while the paper floated to the floor.

The other Brotherhood boys grew silent at Wanda read the cast list. "I'm playing Zoe. Who's she?"

Toad hopped up close and personal to tell her about the character. "She's a hot warrior woman who kicks ass, but doesn't bother to take names."

"She has the same last name as this Hoban character one of my father's minions is playing. What does that mean?"

Toad snatched the list from her. "I'm sure its a mistake, poopsie. It should be my role."

Wanda looked at Lance to give her a straight answer. "Husband and wife."

Her sapphire eyes narrowed. "Someone will have a slow and painful death because of this."

"At least you aren't cast as the whore like Rogue or Storm," Fred pointed out.

"Storm's a little too classy to be a prostitute."

"But she's a high class whore. Very dignified and graceful."

"Whoever made this up must have been on some sort of medication."

Lance nodded in agreement. "No kidding. I might have to play Jayne. A dumb, horny tracker guy who names all fifty of his guns." The others did not make eye contact.

Pietro crawled out of the closet. "Two out of three isn't a bad match, Lance. I'm just disappointed that there isn't a character of my caliber in the series. But maybe that's for the best. I'd hate to outshine anyone and steal the spotlight."

His sister attacked his ego. "The only way you'd get the spotlight is if you literally stole it."

"At least I don't have to play kissy face with a psychotic Aussie, who talks to his vegemite sandwiches."

"You can't fool me, dear brother. I know you wish you had my role so you could."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"For de last time, John, I don't know who is running dis Firefly t'ing!" Remy shouted back.

"But you know everyone!"

"Why do you want to know who's puttin' on dis crazy t'ing anyway?"

"I want to send them a fruit basket for giving me the best character!" John made a face as he reread the casting. "Although I'm not sure if I should be happy they cast a beautiful woman as my wife or be freighted because she knocked me off a bridge."

"But you two have so much in common. You're both considered crazy and spent your childhood in an institution."

"Two completely different kinds of crazy. Mine is more random and psychotic while she likes to hurt things. Like puppies. I would never intentionally hurt a puppy."

"I still don't know which role I'd rather get: Mal or Jayne. Jayne: the sexy tracker, who gets the girls or Mal: who runs the show with slight of hand."

"You only want to be Mal because you'll get to wear the tight pants."

"Do you really think Wolverine can pull off Captain Tight Pants better than I can?"

John leaned over and looked at Remy's behind. "The pants part, no. But Wolverine has more of the humor down and Captain Tight Pants doesn't flirt as much as you do. But that is not the question you should be asking yourself. The question is: Do you want to laugh with me or at yourself? See, if you're Jayne, then you'll be the butt of most of my jokes. But if your Mal, we'll make fun of him together."

Remy stroked his chin in thought. "Good point. Guess we'll have to wait and see."

Back at Xavier's Institute, Ororo Monroe strolled into the kitchen where Logan sat reading a newspaper and drinking coffee. She sat down across from her fellow instructor. "What has gotten into the children this morning? I approach them and they stop talking, turn red, and run off."

Logan turned the page. "I teach the kids how to fight. If you want a psyche evaluation, ask Chuck."

Storm sighed and looked toward the door where Jubilee peaked in and giggled. "I suppose you are right."

While her head was turned, Logan glanced at the African goddess over the top of his newspaper and chuckled.

Storm snapped her head and narrowed her eyes. "You do know what's causing this behavior."

Logan raised his paper to hide his smirk. "I have my suspicions."

Storm pulled down the newsprint. "Logan . . . "

"You got somethin' to say, 'ro?"

Storm played his game to get the information. "Logan, why do you think the students are embarrassed when they see me?"

"They saw the call back list and saw you were up to play a dignified hooker."

"Excuse me?"

"Some nut put up a casting list for a parody of some show called _Firefly_. You or Rogue are going to play Inara, a 'companion.'"

Ororo stood up, throwing her chair back. "I've never been so - "

"Cool it. We probably won't get the final cut. Too many people like to see the Cajun hit on Rogue. Too many people to gut, unfortunately."

"We?"

"I'm up for Captain Mal."

"And you're okay with this."

"Like I said. Probably won't happen. Kurt said I have more of a fatherly dynamic with Kitty and Rogue, so that's why I'm in the running."

"Did he say why I could play a 'companion'?"

Logan put his paper in front of his face. "Yes."

Storm tapped her fingers on the table. "Well?"

"Ask him yourself. I'm no messenger boy."

Ororo knew she would get no further with Logan, so she stormed out of the room to confront a student with an explaination.

* * *

A/N: Voting for the casting of Mal, Inara, Jayne, and River is closed! Stay tuned to find out who won (or tally the reviews if you can't wait). 

Now I'll be writing this while working on Nine to Five series as kind of a break piece. I need to to a few things at a time so that I don't get stagnant and work on nothing because I'm stuck. As all of my pieces, don't expect regular updates. I just needed something fun and easy to work on.


	2. Serenity Pilot Part I

**A/N:** This is more work than I thought it was going to be. I don't know what style I'm writing in, the fourth wall comes in and out, and I'm sure there will be many plot holes since I'm writing this as I go along in the script. This is meant to be fun and nothing else. Enjoy and don't grill me too bad.

After realizing how long this chapter was, I split it up into three parts. There is no new content from when I last updated. From this point on, all episodes will be split up into three parts.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.

* * *

Logan stood with his arms crossed on the cargo bay door looking at the ship. He could not believe it. There was a pair of pants that fit him more snugly than his X-Men uniform.

Ororo glided up beside him. "Not a chance that we would get cast?"

"Don't remind me. I owe Xavier twenty bucks. Never make a bet with . . . " Logan's voice trailed off as he turn his head to look at Ororo. "Are you wearing anything under that robe?"

"No," she replied as if it were common place to be walking around with only a thin piece of loosely tied silk around her body. "I must say, I do like this Inara character's wardrobe. She gets to walk around naked or has very elegant gowns." (1)

Logan stood next to her, mouth agape.

A uniformed Sam Gunthrie walked in, but forgot mid-sentence what he was saying. Logan reached over and covered his eyes.

Storm rolled her eyes and waltzed across the cargo bay. "I didn't realize you were such a prude, Logan."

**CLASS: FIREFLY X - Serenity Part I**

Explosions and gunfire filled the night at Serenity Valley. Alliance for Purity sentinels flew in low to knock the rebels mutants off their feet. The battle had raged for days and was coming to a head.

The man known as Sergeant Wolverine and his division nicknamed the X-Men were one of the few rebels who remained to defend the valley. After shredding an enemy outpost, he ran back to their stronghold: Nothing more than piles of sandbags on a high ridge.

Lance "Avalanche" Alvers crowded around his commander to give him an update. First, he chuckled. "You didn't rip your pants that time (2)."

"Do your job, Rocky, not make jokes. We're fighting a war here, if you didn't notice," he growled.

"Sergeant, Command says air support is holding, 'til they can assess our status."

Wolverine grabbed the front of his shirt and threw him in the direction of the radio. "Our status is that we need some god damn air support. Now get back on line and tell 'em to get in here."

Wanda Maximoff, Wolverine's second despite her young age, joined the huddle. "That sentinel is shredding us, Wolverine."

Lance hobbled back to the group. "They won't move without a lieutenant's authorization code, sir."

Wolverine shoved soldiers out of his way before he found what he was looking for. He bent down and ripped a badge off a dead lieutenant's jacket. Shoving it in Lance's chest, he said, "Here, here's your code. You're Lieutenant Baker. Congratulations on your promotion, bub. Now get me some goddamn air support!"

Lance grumbled as he limped. "How many different names do I have to have?"

With that taken care of, Wolverine turned back to the huddle next to the sandbag wall. "Pull back, just far enough to wedge 'em in here. Get your squad to high ground, start picking 'em off."

Wanda shook her head. "High ground is death with that sentinel in the air."

He turned to the Scarlet Witch and smiled. "That's our problem. Thanks for volunteering." He turned to Sam Guthrie. "Cannonball, distract it while Witch and I get in position to take it down. We're going open that sardine can."

A bomb hit close, rocking their pathetic shelter. They took cover until the ground stabilized. Luckily, all the soldiers were able to get up.

Recognizing the fear in everyone's eyes, Logan tried to boost the moral of his troops, most of whom were teenagers who discovered their powers only recently. Few had seen a real war or knew how to fight one. "You focus! The Alliance said they were gonna waltz through Serenity Valley, and we choked them with those words. We've done the impossible and that makes us mighty. Just a little while longer, our firebirds are gonna be soaring overhead raining fire on those arrogant flatscans, so you hold! You hold! Go!"

The group broke except for the Scarlet Witch and Wolverine.

"You really think we can bring it down?" Wanda asked.

Logan paused, waiting. "Bring it down. . . what?"

"The day I call you sir, is the day my brother doesn't like his reflection."

Off-stage, Pietro objected: "Hey!"

"You really should stick to the script."

"I don't care much for rules. That includes the laws of physics. Like the one that says it's impossible for me to explode your lungs at room temperature and normal atmospheric pressure. Now, do you really think we can bring it down?"

Wolverine skinted his claws. "You need to ask? Ready?"

The witch summoned her chaotic magic. Her hands glowed blue, and she smiled. "Always." The two split up: Wolverine heading for the front, while Scarlet Witch turned back to Cannonball. "Sam? Sam!"

The boy didn't respond. His eyes were wide. He watched the Sentinel pick apart the friends he met only weeks before, then Alliance soldiers coming behind to finish the job. He couldn't look over the wall again. It was too horrible for his mind to wrap around.

"Stupid, incompetent baby." The Scarlet Witch leapt over the wall and wildly threw hex bolts at the flying robots and incoming soldiers.

Wolverine raced down the hill, shredding Alliance soldiers. He was shot a few times, but it was nothing his healing factor couldn't take care of. He took cover behind a large boulder and waited for the witch to catch up.

"What took you?" he asked.

"Get bent," she sneered.

Wolverine made another advance to the Alliance post with the witch covering him with hex bolts. Missiles were misguided toward their enemies. The main sentinel was damaged but not defeated.

Wolverine made it to the outpost undetected and easily overtook the Alliance gunman. He fired the massive gun at the circling sentinel while the Scarlet Witch deflected incoming fire. After a few rounds and a little probability adjustments, he was able to blow a large hole through the chest of the sentinel and sever one of the arms. Their celebration was short as the sentinel started spinning out of control, heading in the direction of the outpost. Wanda, concentrating on a troop of incoming footmen, didn't notice the danger.

"Witch!" Logan shouted as he tackled her to the ground in the nick of time. He rolled over her and smiled at the burning wreckage. "The only thing more beautiful is a new motorcycle."

The witch rolled her eyes as they managed their way back to their stronghold, where Sam sat right where she left him. "Nice distraction."

Wolverine ran to the radio station. "Avalanche, what's our status on . . ." The dust began to clear revealing a mortally wounded Lance. Wolverine shoved any grief he might have felt aside and pointed to the radio. "Wanda."

Understanding his order, she began communication with command while Wolverine went to snap Cannonball out of his practically catatonic state.

"Sam, look at me! Listen, we're holding this valley no matter what."

"We're gonna die."

"We're not gonna die. We can't die, Sam. You know why? Because some crackpot writer declared you immortal in a half-thought out plot line, and Marvel would go under with out me (3)."

Wolverine and the witch look overhead when they heard approaching aircraft. Wolverine punched Cannonball in the shoulder and continued his pep talk. "If you won't listen to me, listen to that. Those are our firebirds coming to blow the Sentinels to the white room (4)." He turned to Wanda on the radio. "Scarlet Witch, tell the 82nd - "

Wanda stood up and looked down at the radio. "They're not coming." Wolverine stared at her, waiting for her to continue. She did: "Command says it's too hot. They're pulling out. We're to lay down arms. Pathetic cowards."

"But what's... " Wolverine slowly rose and looked up at the sky. Standing next to him, Cannonball took a bullet and fell, but Logan didn't notice. He stared unblinking at the dawn sky filled with sentinels to the horizon

* * *

Six years later, Logan was still a scoundrel and Wanda was still at his side, but other things had changed. Instead of fighting a war against humans and giant robots, they fought for their lives in the vast reaches of space scavenging cargo and freedom. They were doing one of the two at that moment: Scavenging an abandoned ship. Three people in space suits floated outside the wreckage.

Logan's voice sounded scratchy in the second hand space suit communicators. "The vault's sealed." He turned to the tall mutant with the black and red eyes. "Remy, do your stuff."

The tracker thief ran his space gloved finger along the edge of the ship. Remy used his mutant powers to charge the outer edge of the panel.

Logan called to his crew on the ship. "John, see any uninvited guests?"

* * *

Meanwhile, the pilot of their spaceship _Serenity _was having an adventure of his own. St. John spun around in his chair, glancing at his monitors and replied, "Everything looks good from here... Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive." In his right hand, a blue Stegosaurus danced and chatted with the Tyrannosaurus Rex John held in his left.

The Stegosaurus "spoke" again in a doctored deep voice. "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it . . . " Pyro searched his entire vocabulary for the right word. "This Land."

The T-Rex faced the Stegosaurus as he replied, "I think we should call it 'your grave'!"

For a dinosaur about to be eaten, the Stegosaurus was fairly calm. "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

"Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!" John giggled as the carnivore launched his mouth at the herbivore's neck.

The Stegosaurus squealed. "Oh, no, God! Oh, dear God in heaven!"

"I heard you!" called John in his most omnipotent voice. He broke the two dinosaurs apart. "You will not die by the T-Rex's hand - "

"Oh, thank you!" the Stegosaurus gratefully answered.

"You will die by fire!" St. John laughed evilly, tossed the T-Rex aside and selected a lighter from small treasure chest.

"Oh, no!" cried the Stegosaurus.

In the midst of igniting a flame, a red light began flashing in the bridge. He fumbled to catch his lighter, but it clattered to the floor and fell underneath the equipment. John mourned for a second before sweeping more toys off his dashboard and looking at a screen.

"Oh, motherless son of a b - "

* * *

The charged panel exploded silently in the vacuum of space and flew out toward the trio of Logan, Wanda, and Remy, narrowly missing the Cajun's arm.

"Watch yourself, Gumbo," Logan chided.

All of the air was sucked outward with the door. "Full pressure," Wanda observed. "The goods must be intact."

"Glad to see you're concerned 'bout my welfare, Witch," said Remy.

"Your goods don't interest me one bit, LeBeau."

"Stop bickering and grab the goods," Logan ordered. On the verge of laughter, the two stared a him for a second. "The goods in the ship!" Logan shook his head at the gutter brains he had to travel with.

They peered in the hole at three crates.

An Australian voice over the intercom interrupted their leering. "Oh, Captain, my Captain - "

"It's just Captain," Logan growled.

"Okay, Just Captain, we got incoming! Alliance cruiser, bearing right down on us!"

Logan's response was urgent. "Have they spotted us?"

"I can't tell if - "

"Have they hailed us?" he yelled into the intercom.

Remy looked to Wanda. "If t'ey're here for de salvage, we're humped."

"If they find us at all, we're humped," Wanda replied. "Theft isn't exactly - "

Logan glared at his two companions. "Shut up." He directed his voice into the intercom. "Pyro, shut it down. Everything but the air."

* * *

John hastily began filling switching in the cockpit. He pressed the intercom button on the dash. "Kitty! KITTY! Go to black out! We're being buzzed! Like little bees! Quick little bee, shut off the lights!"

Kitty phased threw the ship from her room to the cargo bay, careful that she didn't disrupt any walls containing electronics on the way. The young brunette skidded into the engine room and hit the intercom button. "Gotcha. Going dark."

Kitty turned off some switches, then climbed up on a precarious ledge to turn off one final lever. Suddenly everything goes dark. "Like, great. Now I can't get down."

The crew of _Serenity_ remained still as the cruiser passed by.

* * *

An Alliance for Purity cruiser the _I.A.V. Dortmunder_ patrolled lazily through space looking for unregistered mutants and other lawlessness. The ship was large, bulky and impractical, like a hummer in the 21st century Earth That Was. It was meant to be intimidating, but it was not it's size that frightened passersbies. It was the sentinel each cruiser carried. A mutant detector and destroyer.

A bulky blonde man stood erect on the bridge of the _Dortmunder_. "So what am I looking at?" asked Captain Duncan Matthews.

Ensign Paul peered over his shoulder. "Looks like the new swimsuit edition. Captain, if you would please direct your attention _up_ to the display screen . . . "

The captain looked up, disappointed. "Not as pretty."

Paul continued briefing the captain who had obviously gotten his position through networking and family ties, not for brains. "It's a carrier, blew out a few months back. Lost all hands, but it was only run by a skeleton crew anyway."

Captain Matthews had already turned his attention back to his magazine. "Damn shame Braddock didn't make this one (5)."

Paul tried to get some orders out of the Captain. "So, no point in checking for survivors...?"

Another young soldier interrupted Captain Matthews' reading. "Sir, there's a reading on that thing. Some residual heat... "

Duncan leapt up from his chair. "Do a sweep of the ship. Someone stole my Jeanne Marie centerfold (6)!" Paul took that order out of context and applied it to the serious matter at hand.

A soldier at another computer announced. "It's a transport ship. Firefly: Class X."

Talking ships, Captain Matthew's interest was perked. "They still make those? That's a classic model."

Paul rolled his eyes. "They're illegal savage. Lowlife vultures picking the flesh off the dead. Should we deploy gunships and bring her in, Captain?"

Duncan nodded. "Do it. I wonder what kind of restoration work they had to do on it."

* * *

On _Serenity_'s bridge alarms rung and red lights began flashing. "Bloody hell, Just Captain! We're humped! Humped like a dog in heat! Or like Remy's leg by a pack of pit bulls."

"Dat happened once!" defended Remy.

"Prep the ship now," Logan ordered.

John hit the intercom again, calling down to Kitty. "Kitty, fire it up. Wait, how come Kitty gets to play with fire? That's my specialty!"

Meanwhile Wolverine turned to Remy and Wanda. "Move it!" The three shoved off to retrieve the goods in the abandoned ship. They each grabbed the trunks inside and headed back to _Serenity_.

Once the threesome was within a safe distance of the ship, Logan gave another order to John. "Cry, baby, cry."

"Make your mother sigh," John sang. "Engaging the crybaby. I love Forge's little gizmos." John pushed a button releasing a tin barrel satellite looking thing labeled "Crybaby #6" into open space. The satellite began beeping and transmitting a distress signal.

Logan, Remy and Wanda made it safely into the air lock with their stolen cargo. Wolverine hits the intercom. "Pyro, we're on. Go!"

John played around with more buttons. The ship detached itself from the wreck and took off with it's rear firefly-like lights flaring. "Hang on, ladies and gents." John grabbed the controls and began stirring the ship out of the wreckage and behind the grasp of the Alliance ship.

In the cargo bay, Remy pulled off his helmet. "Let's moon t'em." Outside the butt of the ship brightened, and _Serenity _launched itself into the vastness of space.

Wanda removed her helmet as well. "You'll make any excuse to show off your ass, won't you?"

"Wouldn't you if your ass looked like mine? You've seen my ass, non?"

Wanda rolled her eyes. Remy took her silence as a no and began to undo his pants. The witch made a disgusted snort and hexed the Cajun into the wall of the ship.

* * *

On the _Dortumunder_, they picked up the signal. "Captain, I am picking up a distress signal thirteen clicks ahead from a... it sounds like a personnel carrier... Definitely a big ship, sir, and she's without power."

Captain Matthews, Ensign Paul, and the other Purity officers watched the Firefly leave the display screen. Paul felt the need to describe to the scene to the Captain. "They're rabbiting, sir. Should we continue deployment? If we do, the gunships wouldn't get back in time and there still is the matter of the distress call from the personal carrier."

Duncan followed Paul's leaded conversation. "Let's go help those people." He turned to a random officer. "But out a bulletin on the Cortex, and flag S.H.I.E.L.D.: My Jeanne-Marie centerfold has been stolen. There will be a reward for her return."

Paul stopped the bewildered officer before he sent the message. "Forget that. Put out a bulletin on a Firefly with possible stolen goods. Maybe somebody'll step on those roaches."

* * *

The pilot breathed a sigh of relief as they sailed into the clear black sky. He pressed the intercom and called down to the cargo bay. "We look shiny, Just Captain. - "

"John, stop calling me Just Captain or your T-Rex will be decapitated."

The Aussie gasped. "Not Rover! Okay. We look shiny, Captain Crunch. They are not, repeat, not coming about. Ten forward."

Wanda threw her space suit on the ground. "Close one."

"Any one you walk away from, non? Long as we got de goods, I call dis a win," Remy hung up his suit and picked up a few of his weapons.

The witch placed her hands on her hips. "I was talking about seeing your ass."

The Cajun smirked. "So was I."

John's voice came over the intercom: "Remy, stop threatening to show my wife your ass."

Remy laughed. "Just 'cause yours can't compete."

Again came the scratchy voice over the intercom. "I was actually warning you for your own safety, but if you don't want it, she'll be apples."

Remy opened his mouth once more, but Logan cut in. "We'll all win once Remy shuts up about his ass."

"You're de one in de tight pants," Remy shot back.

Logan looked away from his irritating crew toward the stolen cargo. "We win."

* * *

(1) In the comics, more so in the beginning than now, it was not unusual to find Storm walking around naked as she felt clothes confining and unnecessary having grown up being worshiped as a Goddess in Africa.

(2) Nathan Fillian ripped his pants several times doing that opening shot.

(3) Sam was on some immortal list of the Hellfire Club's. It has been tossed back and forth whether it is true or not.

(4) In the X-Men universe, the white room is the source of creation where the Phoenix Force resides when it doesn't feel like possessing people and destroying stuff.

(5) In the comics, Elisabeth Braddock aka Psylocke was once a supermodel in her original British blonde dyed violet-haired body.

(6) In the comics, Jeanne-Marie aka Aurora of Alpha Flight was another mutant model.


	3. Serenity Pilot Part II

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.

* * *

**CLASS: FIREFLY X - Serenity Part II**

Once John set the course, the entire crew gathered in the hold to get a look at the goods. Remy pried open one of the crates with his bo staff. Logan and Remy were in front with Wanda, Kitty, and John leaning over their shoulders. The crates were filled to the brim with gold rectangular bars.

"Well, there we are." Logan ran his hands over the bars.

"They're awfully pretty... " Kitty remarked.

"I'd say worth a little risk," added John.

Remy contributed some sarcasm to the conversation. "Yeah, dat was some pretty risky sittin' you did t'ere."

Wash replied, "That's right, of course, 'cause they wouldn't arrest me if we got boarded, I'm just the pilot. I can always say that I was flying the ship by accident. You know, that pretty - "

"Shut up," ordered Logan. He turned over one of the bars so only he could see the mark on the back.

Wanda suspected something was going on. "Problem, Captain Crunch?"

Logan replaced the top of the crate. "Now don't you start."

John leaned over and whispered in her ear. Wanda smiled and addressed Wolverine again: "Is there a problem, Captain Morgan?"

"Couldn't say. Which is better: you two whispering and giggling with each other or arguing while torching and wrecking my ship like you usually do?" He stood up and turned his back on the cargo. "Let's get rid of these before we run into another Alliance patrol."

The group split and headed to different parts of the ship. Logan, John, and Wanda headed up the stairs to the bridge. Remy and Kitty stayed behind to hide the cargo and tidy up the hold.

"What de hell de Alliance be doin' dis far out, eh?" Remy asked.

"Shining the light of civilization?" Kitty guessed.

Remy shrugged. "Doesn' do us any good... "

Kitty smiled. "Well, we're, like, uncivilized."

Back on the stairway, Logan was all business. "How long 'til we reach Persephone?"

"Three or four hours," replied John.

"Can we shave that?"

John rubbed his chin. "I've thought about that too, but Remy won't let you come near his goatee. Maybe if one of us held him down - "

Logan's head fell in his hand. "Shave the time?"

"Oh! Sorry, Captain Crunch. But I don't think we should push it. We're down to the wire on fuel cells. We run hot, we might not even make it."

Logan clasped John's shoulder lightly and stopped walking. "Play it as close as you can."

Wanda became suspicious again. "Why?"

Logan refused to look at her. "This catch is burning a hole in my hull."

"Think that cruiser might've I.D.'d us?" she asked.

The stocky captain shook his head. "Let's hope not. Contact Tolanski, tell him the job's done. Don't go to mentioning the cruiser, though. Keep it simple. No flirting."

Wanda's lip curled. "You're disgusting. Sure there's nothing wrong with the cargo - "

"It's fine. I just wanna get paid," he growled. Wanda and John continued to the bridge. Logan leaned over the railing can called down to Kitty and Remy. "All right, let's get these crates stowed. I don't want any tourists stumbling over them."

Kitty squealed. "We're taking on passengers at Persephone?"

Logan nodded. "Yeah. We could use a little respectability on the way to Boros. Not to mention the money." He opened up a secret compartment in the bay.

Remy began loading crates into it. "Pain in de ass . . ."

Kitty beamed. "No, it's shiny! I like to meet new people. They've all got stories. . .Especially all the women who you slept with. I'm sure we'll pick up, like, at least one at port."

"Wolvie, can you stop her from bein' cheerful and nosy, s'il vous plaît?"

Kitty bounced through random boxes. "I'm not nosy. I'm cute and curious."

"Don' forgot, petite, curiosity killed de cat."

She was not discouraged. "It's all shiny. I still have all my nine lives. There was a close call once, but I got better."

"Half-pint, stop being so cheerful or I'll duct tape your mouth and dump you in the hold for a month."

Grinning, Kitty stood on her tiptoes and gave Logan a peck on the cheek. "I love my captain."

"At least someone on this ship gets my title right."

* * *

St. John and Wanda headed up the ladder, backlit in the blue glow of the various monitors on the bridge. Wanda took a spot near the entryway while John headed to his chair.

"I know something isn't right."

"There goes your paranoia again." He moved to put his arm around his "wife", but Wanda stepped out of his reach. "Sweetie, we're crooks. If everything were right, we'd be in jail."

Wanda crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "'Sweetie'? You're starting to sound like Toad."

"In the script, luv. I can come up with much better nicknames than that."

"If you like breathing, don't."

"You have to learn to have a little more fun."

"Threatening people is fun."

"Not as fun as mooning an Alliance cruiser or a couple days' leave. . ."

Wanda shook her head. "I know something isn't right about the goods. Logan's so tense. . . . "

John flopped down in his chair and spun around. "I thought that was in his programing. The man needs a break. Let's give him a couple days leave too. "

"We still gotta drop the goods."

He picked up the toy stegosaurus and wiggled it toward Wanda. "And when we do, we fly off to Boros rich and prosperous. Well, less poor. But with enough to find some sweet little getaway."

"We? You better be talking about me and the dinosaur."

"I didn't know you liked toys! Kinky. I've got more in our quarters if you want to see."

"I can't believe we have to share a room. You better stay on your side of the bed. And if there are any exploring hands or feet or any other appendages, you will lose them."

"Lose them how?"

"They will shrivel and fall off."

"Ouch. But what about my getaway idea?"

Wanda sighed. "As long as it has a real bath. . . "

"...and a meal that included some form of food. Just a couple of days lying around, you with the bathing. Me with the watching you bathe."

"Excuse me?"

John grinned sheepishly. "Hoped you wouldn't catch that one."

"I better not catch you."

"What are you going to do?"

"Pop your eyes out of your sockets?"

"I could still hear you bathe."

"Blow out your ear drums"

"Smell you bathe?"

"You don't like your nose either?"

"Guess all that leaves is feeling you bathe."

"If it comes to that, I'll sick Logan on you."

"Eww. A threesome? With Logan?"

"WILL YOU STOP MAKING ME SOUND LIKE A DIRTY WHORE?" She threw a hex bolt at the boy. He held up his hands in defense, so the energy hit his stegosaurus instead. The plastic figure imploded like a peep in a microwave.

John fell to his knees before the crumbled toy. "No! Spike!" He glared up at the witch. "Why? How could you? I can't even superglue him back together. Who likes to do such evil?"

Wanda smirked. "I do."

Logan popped into the doorway of the bridge. "What do you like?"

John answered before Wanda could get a word in. "A threesome with you, me, and sunshine here." Wanda hexed him underneath his console. "Hey, here's that lighter I dropped! And a skate key."

The captain turned to Wanda. "Has the Goddess checked in yet?"

Still discovering lost treasures under the machine, John called out, "Naw, I think she had a pretty full docket." He giggled.

Logan continued to talk to Wanda. "After you talk to Toad, let her know we may be leaving Persephone in a hurry."

"Why? Ororo has our timetable. She should be checking in."

John crawled out. "I can tell her to cut it short," he giggled again. "Meet us at the docks like the sailers."

Wanda smirked. "I doubt you'd interrupt anything. I read his profile, it's probably over already."

John burst out laughing while Logan glared at both of them. "You're both too young to be talking about that."

The witch raised an eyebrow. "Really? And here I thought I was married."

"He doesn't want to imagine it if it's not him," John said to Wanda.

"I'm not married, never will be, and proud of it," Logan declared.

Both Wanda and John laughed wholeheartedly. Logan growled and left the room.

* * *

Off-stage all the male members of the cast and crew except Logan sat in the screening room. They huddled around a small television, passing around a bucket of popcorn.

"Hey, shut up! It's starting!" Bobby yelled.

"Turn it up!" said Lance.

The boys stopped all movement and leaned in. The screen faded into . . . blackness. They could hear panting and Ororo praying, but there was no picture. Remy banged the side of the television, but it didn't help.

Rogue threw open the door and leaned in the doorframe. "This's based on a kid's cartoon. Did ya really think they'd show it?" All of their face's dropped. "Get outta here, the next scene is comin' soon."

Everyone filed out past Rogue, except Remy. He stood inside Rogue's personal space, stretching his arm so his hand rested on the wall behind her head. "So, chere, aren't you suppose to be naked in a box waitin' for Prince Charmin' to kiss and wake up?"

She pretended his closeness didn't bother her. "Ah wait for no man, swamp rat."

He leaned in closer. "Good t'ing I'm a rat den."

She rolled her eyes and ducked underneath his arm.

"Where you goin'?" Remy called after her.

Rogue turned and walked backwards. "Ah'm gonna ask Wanda ta hex ya blind so ya'll never see meh naked."

He smirked. "Never is a long time, chere. You'll give inta your true feelings one day."

Rogue's laugh echoed in the studio.

* * *

Ororo, dressed in the robe she impressed Logan with earlier, sat drinking tea and engaging in small talk with her last client on Persphone. "Africa isn't that different from this planet. More crowded, obviously, and I guess more complicated. Then there is Cairo... pictures can't capture it. It's like an ocean of light."

"Is that where you studied? To be a Companion?" Warren Worthington III asked before he took a sip.

Ororo's smile was pleasant, but emotionless. "I was born there."

"I can't imagine ever leaving." His wings flittered a little, enjoying their short-lived freedom. He usually bonded them to his body so no one would realize that such an influential person was a mutant as well. His father encouraged his seclusion to protect his own reputation. Cairo was a place where such things were not as big of a deal as they were on Persphone.

"I wanted to see the universe," she lied, but only a trained eye would be able to tell.

"Do you really have to leave? I mean... I, my father is very influential, we could... I could arrange for you to be... " His voice trailed off as she breaks eye contact. Angel took the hint. They continued their light conversation, completely forgetting the offer.

Fully bond and dressed, Warren stood up to leave. "The experience has been more than - it was very good. Thank you."

The rehearsed line came quickly through her chocolate lips. "The time went too quickly."

Upset that he would have enter the harsh world where he was hidden away, Warren took his anger out on Ororo. "Your clock's probably rigged to speed up and cheat us out of our fun."

Her smile fell. Warren looked at his shoes, ashamed. He nodded and left the room quickly.

Ororo shakes off the shame he misplaced on her and moved across the room. She packed up her tea set and pulled aside a curtain, revealing the cockpit of _Serenity's_ shuttle. Behind the controls, she naturally and elegantly maneuvered around the complicated buttons, switches, and knobs. She flipped one switch and spoke into an unseen speaker. "_Serenity_, this is Shuttle One, what's your ETA?"

St. John's voice replied, loud and clear, "Storm, hey. We're touching down at the Eavesdown docks in about ten minutes."

"I'll join you there, thanks. "

"Looking forward to it. We missed you out here. Wolvie gets much more cranky when I call him names when you aren't here. And you can cook better than the rest of us."

Storm chuckled. "Kitty attempted to fix the last meal, didn't she?"

"Am I that open of a book?"

"Only to those who are trained to read."

"So what? That's everyone on the ship but Remy?"

"And your 'wife'."

"Oh! I think I'm making some headway in that direction."

Ororo perked a eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yep."

Ororo shook her head in disbelief as she chuckled. "You'll have to inform me when I return."

"Can't wait."

"Yeah. Me too," she said softly. Ororo reached up and turned off the speaker. Taking the controls, the shuttle soared above one of Persephonie's more sophisticated cities.

Out of nowhere a small yellow ship appeared, cutting her off. Ororo pulled up sharply, barely missing the idiot in the yellow vehicle. The companion shook her fist and cursed the driver. He was struck by lightning shortly after.

* * *

The Eavesdown Docks was not like the metropolis Ororo spent her time in. It was packed with people of all classes and races coming and going. It was hot, dirty, and if there was something you were looking for, it would be at the docks. It didn't totally escape the technological influence of the more civilized Persephone, although the electronic billboards, space ships, and gadgets seemed a little out of place in the seedy market.

The crew trotted down the plank with business on their minds. Logan turned to Kitty. "We're leavin' in three hours. Think you can find an ex of Remy's in that time?"

"Oh, definitely," she grinned and punched some keys on flight schedule console near the ship.

Logan shouted another order, "John, grab any supplies we're low on. Fuel her up."

"Really? You want fuel for this trip? I had no idea we were splurging."

Wanda smacked him on the back head. "Don't be a smart ass." Rubbing the back of his head, John wandered back onto the ship.

Kitty stood in front of the captain, rocking back and forth on her heels. "Since we're 'splurging', I'd love to get a brand new compression coil for the steamer."

Logan eyed the valley girl. "You know what that is?"

She nodded eagerly. "Part of my inherent knowledge when I became _Serenity_'s genius mechanic."

"I got to learn to fly!" St. John shouted as he pulled down the ramp in the Mule. Wanda smacked him again. "Wanda learned to abuse me," he added.

"No, that's what I brought to the character."

"An abusive material relationship does not make good television."

Wanda smiled. "I'm amused."

"So am I," added Remy as he adjusted his sunglasses. There was affirmative grunting from the rest of the backstage crew.

John's head fell. "No one loves me." He kicked the dirt then looked up at Wanda with puppy dog eyes.

The witch noticed everyone had stopped to look at her, even the chicken lady. She rolled her eyes and groaned. Awkwardly patting his back, she said, "That's not true. I'm sure your mother had to have loved you. And don't forget my brother."

"Hey!" Pietro yelled from off-stage. "I'm not gay!" He attempted to run on-stage to defend himself, but a whistle from the director signaled Freddy to take charge. The speed-demon was blocked and carried away.

Kitty drew Logan's attention back to her. "So about that coil?"

"Keep dreamin', kid." He patted her on the back and started walking toward the businesses. "Just get us some passengers. Paying ones."

"Compression coil busts, we're drifting... "

"Then get some paying customers or pray it doesn't break." He took off with Remy and Wanda down the ramp.

John called up to Wanda. "Watch your back, luv." He pointed off-stage. "Pietro's plotting something."

Wanda squinted to see her brother beyond the bright lights. Once she identified him, a hex bolt came his way. "Thanks," Wanda replied. She jogged to catch up with Logan and Remy.

"And don't forget the bath salts!" John called after her.

Remy opened his mouth to tease the witch, but her death glare stopped him. Instead he coughed and continued walking. The trio walked throughout the market without looking at any of the goods. They had other things on their mind.

Finally they turned down a dim alley and entered a large, unfinished room with a desk in the center and several large thugs. One, Russian in heritage, stopped them from entering the room. He glanced over his shoulder at his boss who was busy inspecting a young woman.

Todd Tolanski or Toad as his business partners had nicknamed him, stood up straight so his eyes were at the same level as the girls mouth. "Let me see your teeth, girly."

Tabietha leaned away from his bad breath and bared her teeth. Toad didn't notice a time bomb she slipped into his pocket.

Toad nodded. "Yeah." He slouched and waved his hand, signalling Roberto to take her away. The boy took her roughly by the arm and Tabietha smiled seductively. Roberto shoved her behind the curtain. When he turned his back, a ring-clad hand reached out and grabbed him by the back of his shirt. Roberto was not seen again for several hours.

Toad hopped behind his desk, ignoring Logan and his companions until Remy spoke up, "Don' t'ink you should be one to judge someone's oral hygiene."

"You're late, yo."

Logan pushed his way around Piotr. "You're lying."

"What did you say, man?"

Logan stared Toad down until his legs began to quiver. "Why don't we start again with you telling us what's gone wrong on your end?"

Toad gulped. Then lifted a digital paper for them to see. "You'd gotten here sooner, you might've beaten the bulletin that came up sayin' a rogue vessel, classification 'Firefly', was spotted pulling illegal salvage on a derelict transport."

"Didn't ID us."

"No, but the Alliance stamp on the goods sure will. Peggin' me a fool to take marked merchandise? 'Cause I ain't no fool."

Logan stepped forward. "We didn't pick the cargo."

"And I didn' drop trou at the goddamn law."

"I'm sure they thank you for that," Wanda remarked.

Toad waltzed behind Colossus. "There's no deal. Unless. . . " From behind Colossus, Toad flashed a goofy smile at Wanda.

The witch didn't wait for him to finish his sentence. She hexed Colossus through the floor boards and slammed Toad into his desk. "The only deal we'll make with you is allowing you to live long enough to pay us."

Blob, Juggernaut, and Lance in a fake mustache burst into the room.

Logan put a hand on Wanda's shoulder. "Drop it, Witch."

"What are you doin'?" Remy exclaimed. "You gonna let t'is puddle o' piss refuse to pay us?" He shot a quick look at the added muscle to the room. "We can take 'em."

Logan shook his head and turned to Toad, who was straightening his hat and jacket. "Don't expect us to do business again, bub."

As the trio left, Toad shouted with regained confidence. "Try one of the border planets - " He stopped talking when Remy turned around to attack him.

Logan grabbed Remy by the back of his jacket and yanked him out of the building.

"What did you do dat for? I was about to teach dat worm a lesson," Remy exclaimed.

Logan quickened his pace. "No, you were about to be blown to bits."

"Huh?"

"Wait for it." Logan put three claws in the air and counted down. When his claws were retracted a large explosion rocked the building they had come from.

"How'd you know?" Wanda asked.

Logan tapped his nose. "Tabby."

* * *

Back at the docks, an old, bald man hovered in a chair around the ships. It was a nice, calm day. A day like this didn't come along very often in the bald man's life. It was rudely interrupted when a young man slid over to him on an ice slide.

"Goin' on a trip, Grandpa? Need safe passage? Well, look no further than Iceman's Ice Wagon the best ship in the universe. We're cheap, clean, and easy."

The bald man looked at the ship. Unimpressed, he turned to Iceman and said, "I never married."

"What?"

"I'm not a grandpa."

"Oh, please, old man. Jean and Scott told us all about your hanky-panky in Europe and your son. You really think you're not a Grandpa yet?"

Ignoring him, the bald man glided over toward Serenity. As he passed a young girl lounging on a chair with an umbrella, she called out to him. "You're totally gonna come with us."

The old man raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Kitty put down her umbrella and smirked. "You like the ships, not the destinations, and mine's the nicest."

Looking at the ship, he coughed. "She doesn't look like she'd survive a take-off."

The girl continued to smile and play with the umbrella. "Don't be so shallow. She'll surprise you." As he looked at the ship again, Kitty came within arms reach of his hoverchair. "So, how come you don't care where you're going?"

He looked at her and smiled. "Because the journey is the worthier part."

"Are you a philosopher?"

"I guess. . .I'm Professor Charles Xavier, from Oxford University. I've decided to take a sabbatical. I'd like to walk the universe for a while, figuratively speaking. I've been cooped up in buildings for far too long."

Kitty held our her hand. "I'm Kitty Pryde, and this is Serenity." Kitty directed her hand toward the ship, Barker's Beauty style. "She's the smoothest ride from here to Boros for anyone who can pay." She wore a nervous grin and played with her hair. "Can you pay, or. ..?"

Xavier smiled and pulled a small box from his sack. "I've got a little capital and these - "

Kitty peeked at the contents of the box, and her eyes widened. "Wow. Ooh, Grandpa . . ."

"I never married." 

Kitty kept her eyes on her payment. "That doesn't mean you don't have kids."

Xavier sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Did Jean and Scott tell everyone about that?"

* * *

"What are we gonna do now? You shoulda told me Tabby was blowin' the place. I woulda slipped some cash from de dead man before we left," Remy said as he, Logan, and Wanda walked back to Serenity.

"Why? We would've never seen any of it," said Wanda.

"Hell, no, but I woulda whined less."

"You should have told him, Logan." They walked in silence for a bit as they passed a crowd watching a fight. "Are we going to look for a buyer on Boros?"

Logan shook his head. "Boros is too big and crawling with Alliance scum-suckers."

"You think Toad sold us out to the Feds?" Wanda asked.

Remy winked at her. "Maybe we shoulda offered you as a peace offerin'."

"Then who will save that ass you are so infatuated with?" she growled.

"Who's de infatuated one? You keep bringin' it up."

"Will you two knock it off! We have more important things to deal with." The trio shut up as they passed a few Alliance soldiers in the street.

Wanda leaned in and spoke nervously. "Alliance catches us with government goods, we'll lose the ship."

Logan shook his head. "That's not gonna happen."

Wanda hesitated to voice her suggestion. "We could dump the cargo."

Remy objected. "No way, fille. We ain' had a job in weeks. I didn' sign on wit' dis crew to take in de sights."

Wolverine glared at the Cajun. "Gumbo, your mouth is talking. You might want to look into that."

"Oh, I'm ready to stop talkin' -"

Logan interrupted his tirade. "You're right. The last two jobs we had were barely light beer. We got nothing saved, takin' on passengers won't help near enough. We don't get paid for this cargo, she'll be dead in the water."

"So we do like Toad said? The border planets?" the Witch asked.

The Captain nodded. "I'm thinkin' Whitefall, maybe talk to Yuriko..."

Giving him a funny look, Wanda said, "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" he replied innocently.

"She shot you."

"Well, yeah, she did a bit... still - "

"Then stabbed you. Repeatedly."

"T'en she kicked you in de - "

Logan held up his hand to Gambit. "I remember."

"So we find somebody else. Wyndgard," Wanda suggested.

Logan shook his head. "He can't afford it."

"Ferris twins."

"They wouldn't touch it. Do you want me to go through the list?" Logan started counting on his fingers. "Maverik's brain-blown. Hawkeye's dead - "

Wanda was shocked. "He's dead?"

"You killed him in the comics repeatedly. Don't you remember?"

"No."

"Unfortunately, thanks to you, I remember everything," Logan growled (1). "This time you didn't kill him. His town got hit by Morlocks. Burned it right down."

Remy shook nervously. "I'm not goin' nowhere near Morlock territory. T'em people ain' human or mutant."

Logan regained the direction of the conversation. "Whitefall is the safest and the closest. Been a long time since Yuriko shot me, and she probably had good reason. I got no grudge. She owns half the moon now. She can afford it, and she might just need it."

Wanda crossed her arms. "I still don't think Lady Deathstrike's the way."

The three finally reached Serenity. They watched John load a large container into the cargo hold, and Kitty talked to another passenger named Mr. Kodiak Noatak (2).

Logan looked lovingly at his ship. "It'll be tricky, but it's our best bet. Until then, we keep our heads down, do the job, pray there aren't any more surprises."

Trudging up the ramp, the three watched John trying to do a wheelly on the mule with the large crate strapped on. A young man with red sunglasses and a suit yelled at the pyromaniac. "Please be careful with that!"

While Remy and Wanda walked into the ship, Logan stopped and looked the young man up and down. He clicked his tongue, unimpressed.

Kitty popped up between them. "Logan, this is, like, Scott. Scott, this is our captain."

"Captain Crunch!" yelled John. Wanda and Remy laughed.

Scott acknowledged to Logan. "Captain Logan."

The captain nodded. "Welcome aboard." He grabbed Kitty by the arm and whispered, "This all we got?"

"Yeah, no ex-girlfriends. I was surprised, too."

Logan let go of Kitty's arm and joined Wanda by the stairs. They watched the three passengers shift through their luggage as they whispered.

"Now we have a boatful of citizens right on top of our special cargo. This'll be fun," Wanda remarked.

"They won't find the compartment. . . " Logan eyed Mr. Noatak, "even if they were looking for it."

"Why not?"

The Wolverine didn't have an answer.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah. Loads of fun."

Logan leaned in. "If anyone gets nosy, you know, just... hex them."

Since being exposed as a mutant might change the disposition of their passengers, Wanda questioned her colleague. "Hex 'em?"

Logan turned and headed up the stairs. "Politely. And without them knowing."

Wanda resumed watching the three strangers. She cracked her knuckles. "My pleasure."

"Only if they do something," he added.

"Does annoying me count as something?"

Logan replied with a look and finished trekking up the stairs.

A call from John interrupted Wanda's watchdogging. "The Goddess has returned!" John called.

Wanda relayed the message to Logan. "We got a fully house, Captain Morgan."

Logan leaned down to the ramp. "Kitty, I'm locking it up!"

Kitty took one last look at Persephone. "All aboard." She turned and ran through the almost closed cargo hold door.

* * *

(1) All pre- and during House of M, Wanda goes nuts stuff. Too sum up the stuff I'm referring to here, she went crazy and blamed the Avengers for killer her imaginary twins. She killed several Avengers including Hawkeye. Then, in her madness and encouraged by her brother, she reformed the world to her father Magneto's dream, creating the House of M. When that dream fell apart, she declared, "No more mutants," and defaulted the world back except the majority of the mutants on the planet lost their powers. As a consequence of all of these events, Logan was granted all of his memories back.

(2) Real name of Harpoon of the Marauders.


	4. Serenity Pilot Part III

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.

* * *

**CLASS: FIREFLY X - Serenity Part III**

_Serenity_'s crew and passengers all gathered in the dining room. They all looked to Captain Logan as he gave the passengers their orientation. "Meals are here in the dining area, the kitchen is pretty much self explanatory, you're welcome to eat what there is any time, what there is is pretty standard fare, I guess, protein in all the colors of the rainbow. We do have sit-down meals, the next one being at 1800."

"I think Professor Xavier has offered to help me prepare something," Kitty peeped up.

Logan looked at Xavier skeptically and tightened his fists. "You're a Professor?"

The professor nodded. "Is it a problem?"

Kitty stepped between them. "Of course not! It's no problem, like, it's not."

Logan took a deep breath and a step back. "No. I thought a learned man would think twice about letting a girl like Kitty cook."

The mechanic put her hands on her hips. "Hey!"

Logan projected his voice over her outburst. "As I said, you're welcome to visit the dining area any time. Apart from that, I have to ask you to stay in the passenger dorm while we're in the air. The bridge, engine room, cargo bay -- they're all off limits without an escort."

Dr. Scott Summers tried to hide his nervousness, but Logan could smell it a mile away. "Some of my personal effects are in the cargo bay."

Remy elbowed John and whispered, "I bet his 'personal effects' include a dildo."

John extended his hand. "I'm in. I say shaving cream and nudie mags."

Logan continued with the orientation. "I figure you all have luggage you're going to need. As soon as we're done here, we'll be happy to fetch them with you. Unfortunately, there has been one unforeseen change to our schedule. We've been ordered by the Alliance to drop some medical supplies off on Whitefall. It's the fourth moon on Athens, it's a little out of our way, but we'll be on Boros no more than a day off schedule."

Now Scott was no longer just nervous but skeptical and paranoid as well. "What medical supplies?"

Logan shrugged. His distaste for this Summers character, his questions, and his arrogance was growing. "Didn't ask."

Wanda stepped forward and picked up the slack in information. "Probably plasma, insulin, whatever they don't have enough of on the border moons."

"Alliance says jump... " Logan added to seem like the upright Alliance citizen.

Scott nodded and backed off. "All right."

Nodding back at his first mate, Logan said, "Wanda, you wanna take them to the cargo bay?"

Wanda turned to the passengers and smiled wickedly, just in case they thought about trying anything. "Yes."

As they filled behind the witch, Logan managed to choked out, "Anything else you need, just... ask. We, uh, we're here to serve." After they left, he turned to John. "Did you send word to Yuriko?"

"Haven't heard back yet. Didn't she shoot you one time? Then stab you - "

Logan walked away, shaking his head. "Everybody's making a fuss." He turned, remembering what he overhead with his super hearing. "I want in on Summers' 'personal effects' bet."

* * *

Most of the crew gathered to keep an eye on the passengers bull things out of their luggage. Even Ororo appeared, elegantly descending the stairs from her shuttle.

Logan looked up and grinned. "Ah, the Goddess graces us with her presence."

The hit washed off Ororo like a gentle wave. "Hello, Logan. I see we have some new faces."

Kitty's grin grew wide. "Hey you."

Ororo returned Kitty's friendliness. "Hey you."

"Goddess, this is Professor Xavier," the captain introduced them.

Ororo stared straight at Xavier, but returned the earlier blow to Logan. "I'd have to say this is the first time we've had an _educated _man on board."

"Well, I wasn't expecting to see a religious icon, either," Xavier took her hand and bowed slightly. "Goddess."

Logan laughed while Ororo glared at him.

Xavier glanced from one to the other. "I'm missing something funny."

Kitty coughed. "Not so funny."

Ororo started to explain, "'Goddess' is Logan's way of - "

"She's a whore, Professor."

"The term is, like, 'Companion'," Kitty corrected, irritated at the way Ororo and the captain were treating each other.

"I always get those mixed up," Logan chuckled and turned to Ororo. "How's business?"

Her face was cold. "None of yours."

The captain turned to the professor. "She is pretty much our Goddess. There's plenty of planets that won't let you dock without a decent Companion on board. This... this isn't a problem for you, is it, Professor?"

Xavier stumbled with his words. "Well, I... I certainly... "

Disgusted by the educated man's intolerance and Logan's hostility, Ororo headed back to her shuttle. "It's all right. I mostly keep to myself. When I'm not whoring."

Logan called after her. "Don't you wanna meet the rest of the bunch?"

At the top of the stairs, she turned and glared. "Why don't you make sure they want to meet me first?"

Kitty silently scolded the captain as she ran after Ororo. "So how many fell madly in love with you and wanted to take you away from all this?"

Ororo knew Logan was still listening to their conversation. "Just the one. I think I'm slipping."

* * *

Shortly after 1800 hours, everyone but John were gathered around the table. There was much joy and excitement in the air because of the table spread of fresh and edible fruits and vegetables. It was obvious that the professor did the majority of the cooking.

"This is incredible," Wanda praised.

The professor was modest. "It's not much. I was good friends with the agriculture department, and received many parting gifts. I thought I should bring what I could."

Scott straightened his napkin. "It's very kind of you to share with all of us."

Wanda began shoving food on an empty plate. "I'm gonna make a plate for John."

The table grew silent. Wanda looked up and glared at them. "WHAT?"

They shook their heads and concentrated on their food. Wanda mumbled something about the script and continued.

Xavier addressed Scott, "Well, it won't last, and they're never the same when they're frozen. The important thing is the spices. A man can live on packaged food from here until the end of existence if he's got enough rosemary."

When the conversation dimmed again, Scott spoke up. "So, does it happen a lot? Government commandeering your ship, telling you where to go?"

Logan ground his food until you could hear his teeth. "That's what governments are for: to get in a man's way."

"Well, it's good, if the supplies are needed," said the passenger Noatak.

Remy added, "We're just happy to be doing good works." It was hard for him to keep from laughing.

"I hear a lot of the border moons are in bad shape. Plagues, and famine... " said Noatak.

Wanda put him straight. "Some of it's exaggerated, some of it isn't. All those moons - just like the central planets, they're as close to Earth-That-Was as possible: gravity, atmosphere, et cetra, but - "

"Once they're terra-formed, they'll dump settlers there with nothing but blankets, hatchets, maybe a herd. Some of them make it, some of them don't," Logan added bitterly.

"Then I guess it's good we're helping," Scott said.

With a great desire to change the subject, Kitty looked straight at Scott. "You're a Doctor, right?"

Talking about himself made Scott nervous. "Oh. Uh, yes. I was a trauma surgeon on Osiris, in Capital City."

"Long way from here," said the captain.

Kitty ignored him. "You seem so, like, young. To be a doctor, I mean."

Scott smiled. "Yeah. You're pretty young to be a ship's mechanic."

Kitty blushed and glued her eyes to her plate. "No. Machines have parts and workings, and they talk to me. It's not a mutant power, or anything," she added quickly. "They don't literally talk to me. I can look at them and figure out what's wrong."

The professor smiled. "That's a rare gift. Even if it was a mutant gift, it would still be a special one."

"One dat required registration to live," Remy grumbled and adjusted his sunglasses.

Kitty stirred the subject again. "Oh, not like being a doctor. Helping fix people, that's important."

Remy snorted and smirked. "Little Kitty here just wishes you was a gynecologist."

The entire room grew silent again. "Remy, you'll keep a civil tongue in that mouth, or I'll cut it off." Logan's fist clinked as he slammed it on the table. "Do you understand?"

Remy leaned back and crossed his arms. "You don' pay me to talk pretty. Look pretty, oui, but talk pretty, non. Just because Kitty gets lubed-up over some homme de ville grande - "

"Walk away from this table. Now," Logan growled.

The two glared at each other, Remy's eyes glowed behind his glasses. The Cajun caved. "Damn healing factor will trump me every time," he mumbled as he shoveled more food on his plate. He waltzed out of the room like it was his idea that he left.

"What do you pay him for?" Scott asked.

"What?"

"I was just wondering what his job is. On the ship," Scott explained.

Logan took a big bite of a tomato. "Like he said. Public relations."

* * *

Every single person with a y-chromosome found some excuse to be off-stage for the next scene while the others crossed their arms and grumbled. The reason was obvious. In the center of a cushy room smelling of incense, Ororo sat facing away from the camera with her top-half naked. She was giving herself a sponge bath.

Logan came out of make-up. Seeing the boys drooling, he growled. They cleared out the emergency exit, and Logan smirked.

Back on stage, there was a knock at Ororo's shuttle door. "Come in," she called.

The professor entered, but immediately became embarrassed with Ororo's lack of clothing. He turned his back and faced the wall. "If I'm intruding... "

Ororo stood and covered up. "Not at all. I expected you."

"I couldn't say the same. Which is strange, since I'm the psychic one."

"You're a mutant?"

"Yes, and so are you."

"Of course. I'm registered, although position exempts me from being tagged and tracked. How about you?"

"You shouldn't waste time with trivial small talk. Ask me the question that's really on your mind."

Ororo's smile was fake and her eyes burning. "But you just answered it."

He shook his head. "No, I did not read your mind. You do not have to have Companion training to read a person. You stiffened the moment I said I was a psychic. It was only logical that your question was 'Is he reading my mind now?'"

Ororo replied dryly, "Thank you for the lecture, Professor. Although I'm sure you only think that question is the logical one after many years of truly reading the minds of those you encountered."

"Touche. But the past is the past. I'd like to think I'm a different person now with better morals." Xavier held out a tray of food. "I brought you some supper."

Ororo nodded and took it. "I thank you sincerely for this."

Xavier nodded. "The captain said you might like it. I was surprised at his concern."

She sipped her drink. "For a lowly whore?"

He shook his head. "It was unjust of him to say that."

The corner of Ororo's mouth curved upwards. "Believe me, I've called him worse. Anyway, I suspect he has more interest in making you uncomfortable than me."

The professor replayed his interactions with Captain Logan in his mind, intrigued. "He's not wildly interested in ingratiating himself with anyone, yet he seems very protective of his crew. It's odd."

"Why are you so fascinated by him?"

"Because he's something of a mystery. Why are you?"

Ororo's pleasant smile faded. She paused before she answered. "Because so few men are."

* * *

Later, Logan climbed up to the bridge to find John studying one of the screens very intently. "Why'd you call me up here, Ozzie?"

John pointed to the screen. "You're not gonna like this. In fact, I insist on a ten feet buffer area between us before I tell you."

Logan crossed his arms and stayed put. "The bridge isn't that big. What'd you do now?"

He grinned proudly. "I did something good. Someone else on the ship is very bad. A signal went out on the Cortex and hailed the nearest Alliance Cruiser."

Logan stepped forward to take a better look at the screen. "That good thing you did had better be scrambling it."

"Just like eggs, but I don't know how much got through. Alliance got a pin on us for sure. Looks like more humping again. And not the fun kind."

Logan muttered many expletives under his breath. He turned and rushed from the bridge. "I got me a mole to gut." Logan picked his scent out the air and followed the trail to the cargo bay. Scott was examining his box when he turned to find Logan practically on top of him.

"Forget your toothpaste?" Logan asked, but never waited for an answer. His fist swung around, knocking Scott to the floor.

Scott reached around with his eyes closed until he found his ruby-quartz glasses. "Are you out of your mind?!"

The captain shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, just about. What'd you tell them?"

Securing his glasses back on his face, Scott stood but kept a safe distance from Logan. "Tell who?"

Sick of the games, Logan popped out his claws. "What do they know?"

Scott took a few more steps back and laid his hand on his glasses. "You're a lunatic."

"No, I'm a mutant. And you're a goddamn Fed," he growled.

Scott remained clueless, but Xavier hovered in on his chair followed by Noatak. The latter was aiming a glowing harpoon gun at the captain. "Hate to say it, Captain, but you've got the wrong man," said the professor.

Both Scott and Logan put their hands up. "Son of a bitch," Logan grumbled. He wasn't afraid of getting injured, but this blue glowing stick could injure his ship. "How'd he get that huge weapon on the ship without anyone noticing?"

"Drop the knives, Captain Logan," said Noatak.

Logan snorted. "Not this again. I'm a mutant, you scumsucker. They don't come off." Logan retracted his claws for good measure. "It must be a Thursday (1)."

As he walked down the stairs, Noatak moved the harpoon to point at Scott. "Scott Summers, you are bound by law to stand down."

It took a second for Logan's enhanced hearing to catch on to Noatak's words. "What? The doctor?" Logan's demeanor changed. "Is there a reward for his capture?"

Noatak bobbed the harpoon up and down. "Get on the ground. Get on the ground!"

Scott remained standing. "Lawman, you are making a mistake."

Smelling the fright in the air, Logan turned to Scott. "Get on the ground, Slim. The man's twitchy."

"I think everybody should calm down," Xavier added as he moved closer to Noatak and the harpoon gun.

Noatak's eyes remained on his bounty. "This isn't your business, Professor."

"The boy's not going anywhere. As I understand it, it's pretty cold outside."

Logan starts to put his hands down in a position more easy to attack from. "Not to worry. Put Cory Hart here in a passenger cell; he won't make a peep (2)."

The harpoon swung from Scott to Logan. "Keep your hands up! You think I'm a complete backbirth? You're carrying a fugitive across interplanetary borders, and you think I actually believe you're bringing medical supplies to Whitefall? As far as I care, everyone on this ship is a criminal. They're probably all unregistered and untagged mutants too."

Logan took a step forward but kept his arms up. "That has an effect on the landscape, bub."

Xavier sighed. "Please, we're very close to true stupidity here - "

"I've got a cruiser en route for intercept, so talk all you want. You've got twenty minutes."

Logan flexed his raised hands. "Might have less than that."

Noatak cocked his gun. "Go ahead and threaten me. See where it gets you."

Xavier moved forward. "For God's sake - "

The gunman looked over his shoulder to Xavier, but kept his gun trained on the space somewhere between Scott and Logan. "You think I wouldn't shoot a professor? Back off!"

Logan grabbed Scott by the back of his fancy shirt. "Just take the kid!"

Scott struggled to break free. "Get your hairy hands off of me!"

The harpoon gun waved through the air, settling on a target for no more than a few seconds before switching. "Stand the hell down!" Noatak yelled at everyone.

"Everyone stop it! Stop it!" Xavier's hands moved to his temples, prepared to take them all down telepathically.

At the pinnacle of chaos, Kitty wandered into the fray. "Why's everybody - " Swiftly, the glowing harpoon left the gun and headed in Kitty's direction. Instinctively she phased, but the harpoon's energy reacted badly with the empty space between her atoms. It stuck through her, while she was still phased. The girl stared down at her wound. "What?"

Ororo, hearing the commotion came out to see Kitty slumping to the ground. "Kitty!" Ororo rushed to her, forgetting the rest of the people in the room. She tried to comfort the girl, but Kitty was phasing and materializing uncontrollably.

Remy had also heard the commotion, and came out with a handful of charged cards aimed at the fed.

Logan also attempted to reach his fallen crew, but Noatak stood in his way. The fed aimed his harpoon gun at Logan, but before he could shoot, Xavier telepathically knocked him out.

With Noatak out of the way, everyone, including Scott, gathered around Kitty. After many attempts, Logan and Remy managed to separate the harpoon from Kitty's wildly intangible body. Even after the weapon was removed, Kitty continued to phase in and out.

Scott knelt by her side. "How do you feel?"

"A little odd. . . " The talking helped her focus. "I've never actually been shot before. Why did he. . . ?" she whimpered and half-phased through the floor before catching herself.

Scott tried to pull away Kitty's clothing, but her sporadic phasing made it almost impossible.

"You stay focused, Half-pint," Logan ordered. "The doctor here is going to examine your mosquito bite."

Scott loosened Kitty's clothing to examine the wound. "I've seen this before. The harpoon temporarily messes with the X-Gene, making it almost impossible to control your powers. The effects will last a few hours. Kitty, can you move your feet?

Kitty's head bobbed and swung. Her eyes were glazed. "Are you asking me to dance. . . ?"

"She's going into shock," Scott announced.

Storm cradled the girl's head. "Kitty, child, you have to focus."

Scott caught Logan's eye. "Is the infirmary working?"

Logan nodded. "Yeah, we got it stocked."

Scott gave Logan a funny lock. "You are struggling to fuel the ship, yet you have a fully stocked infirmary? Is that because you're always well or because you always get sick?"

Logan smiled. "Neither, we're a rough crew."

Scott shook his head. "Why did I choose this ship?" He turned to the others. "We need to move her."

Meanwhile a determined Remy moved toward the unconscious Fed. The Professor coasted in between them. Remy took off his sunglasses, showing the Professor his mutant eyes. "Outta de way, Professor."

Xavier shook his head. "You're not killing this man."

Remy smirked and his eyes glowed. "Not right away."

"He's no threat," said Xavier, waving his hand in a Jedi fashion.

Remy chuckled then became deadly serious. "Dat telepathy stuff don' work on me 'less I want it to. Move."

Xavier puffed up his chest. "Not going to happen."

Remy raised a charged card. "I'm not jokin' wit' you, Professor."

"Remy!" Wanda shouted from the top of the stairs. Her hands were glowing with her right hand mocking a gun pointed at the Cajun. "Just tie him up." Remy didn't move, his eyes still locked with the Professor. "Do it!" she ordered.

Remy sighed and dropped the card. It disappeared in a puff of smoke before it hit the ground. Wanda took the gun from the Professor and looked to where Logan, Scott, and Ororo were preparing to move Kitty.

Just as they were about to lift her, John's voice came over the intercom. "Captain Morgan Logan, we've been hailed by an Alliance Cruiser. Ordered to stay on course and dock for prison transfer. So. . . ."

Logan and Scott locked eyes. Slowly, the doctor rouse and stepped away from Kitty. "Change course. Run."

Logan snorted. "Hell with you, bub! You brought this down and us, I'm dumping you with the law."

"Logan . . " Ororo started but was ignored.

"She's dying," Scott reminded him.

Logan sniffed and shook his head. "You're not gonna let her."

Simon licked his lips and spoke carefully. "Yes, I am."

Logan saw the fear in his eyes about letting a patient die, but also the determination to remain free. Logan tried to pressure Scott's morality. "No, you can't."

Scott remained firm. "Yes, I am."

"No, you can't."

"No way the Feds'll let us walk," Wanda piped in.

Logan turned his head and barked. "Then we dump him in the shuttle and leave him for them."

"Everybody's so mad. . . " Kitty whispered and moaned.

Ororo brushed Kitty's hair from her face. "It's okay, child."

"Do you know what a stomach wound does to a person?" asked Scott.

Logan glared at the imbecile. "I've had several myself."

"Then you know how crucial the next few minutes are."

Wanda pointed at Scott with a blue glowing finger. "You let her die, you'll never make it to the Feds."

Kitty looked up at Ororo. "Did Wanda just defend me?"

"Yes, Kitty. I told you she liked you."

Wanda snorted. "More like I don't want to be stuck in the middle of space with no mechanic or someone for Remy to bother besides me."

Scott didn't break a sweat. "She'll still be dead."

Logan shook his head. "You rich kids. You think your lives are the only thing that matters. What'd you do? Kill your folks for the family fortune? No, that's too tame for Marvel. . . How about marry your dead girlfriend's clone then leave her in Alaska with a kid?"

"Turn the ship around!"

With Kitty's head occasionally phasing through her lap, Ororo snapped, "Enough! Logan, do it!"

Slowly he turned his head toward the weather witch. "Don't ever tell me what to do on my - "

Kitty's scream interrupted him. Panic filled Logan's eyes. Luckily, he never noticed that Ororo had pinched Kitty to make her scream.

Logan and Scott locked eyes. Still looking at Scott, Logan ordered, "Wanda, tell John-boy to change course."

Scott knelt back down. "Help me get her up."

Wanda ripped the intercom off the wall. "John, change course and go for hard burn. We're running."

* * *

It took nearly an hour for Scott to successfully close up Kitty's wound. Logan and Ororo assisted him, but it was complicated with Kitty's wild phasing. At last, Scott took off his apron and washed the blood off his hands. "I can't do any more until she stabilizes."

"Will she?" Logan asked. "Before she bleeds out or phases through the hull, I mean."

Scott shook his head and continued scrubbing. "I can't say yet."

Ororo put her hands on her hips. "I want to know what's going on here."

Before Scott could open his mouth, Logan jetted out of the infirmary. "Why don't we find out?" Logan, followed by Ororo, Scott, and the rest of the crew sped back to the cargo bay. Logan stopped in front of the large crate Scott brought on board.

"What are you . . .?" Scott started. "No! No! Stay away from that!"

Remy waltzed up behind Scott and grabbed him from the back of his neck, holding him back. "Don't!" Scott yelled and moved his glasses down his nose. A red beam shot out from his eyes toward Logan before Remy restrained Scott's arms and replaced his glasses.

Logan looked at the burnt hold in the cargo bay floor. "You're lucky that wasn't an external wall or none of us would get to open our birthday present." Logan glanced at Remy. "Where's the Fed?"

"Secure. Professor's wit' him. He seems to t'ink he's not safe alone wit' me."

"I didn't know you swung that way, Remy," John laughed. Remy flipped the pilot the bird while still keeping a tight grip on the doctor.

Logan ignored the childish antics of his crew and studied the box before him. He turned some dials and pulled a lever to unlock it. A hissing sound came from the lid as it lifted slightly. "Let's see what a man like you would kill for."

"No, don't!" Scott pleaded once more.

Logan kicked the lid of the crate. More fog escaped from the box. Once it cleared, Logan peered into the crate. Inside was a teenage girl curled in a fetal position in a tight nude body suit. Her auburn hair was wet and tangled, but the most unusual thing was the white bangs that framed her face. She looked almost peaceful, frozen and asleep in the box.

Completely surprised, all Logan could manage to say was, "Huh."

* * *

(1) Alluding to _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ by Douglas Adams. The earth was destroyed on a Thursday.

(2) Cory Hart sings the 80's song "I wear sunglasses at night."


	5. Serenity Pilot Part IV

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.

* * *

**CLASS: FIREFLY X - Serenity Pilot Part IV**

"I need to check her vitals!" Scott yelled and tried to push through _Serenity_'s crew to get to the girl in the box. Remy grabbed a hold of his arm and kept him back.

"Oh, is that what they call it?" Logan asked as he pointed to the crate.

Scott struggled to free himself from Remy's grasp. "She's not supposed to wake up for another week! The shock - "

Logan snorted. "The shock of what? Waking up? Finding out she's been sold to some borderworld baron? Or was this one for you?" Logan rubbed his stubble and glanced once more in the box then back at Scott. "Is it true love? Because you do seem a little - "

The girl's head popped out of the box and started screaming. Logan jumped back several steps. The girl with the white streaked hair continued screaming, and she violently crawled out of the box. She tried to stand, but her muscles were too weak. She gripped the sides of her head and withered on the floor.

The entire crew stood by the stairwell, frozen in shook. Scott managed to wrestle himself away from Remy and ran to the girl. "Don't touch her!" Scott pulled a pair of gloves out of his pockets and knelt on the floor in front of her. He stretched out his gloved hand and called her name. "Rogue?"

She screamed again, but seemed more at ease with the doctor in front of her. He reached out and pulled her hands from her head. "It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I'm here."

It took the girl a minute to recognize the mutant with the red sunglasses in front of her. "Scott?" she whispered. Her eyes went wide, tears filled her eyes. "Scott. . . They, they talk ta meh, they want meh-, she's so loud, they want meh ta . . ."

Scott placed a gloved hand over her mouth. "They're gone," he whispered, sliding his hands to her shoulders. "They're gone, they're gone, they're gone. We're safe now. We're save. I'm here." He wrapped his arms around her as carefully as possible. The girl clung to his chest and cried into his shoulder, visibly wetting his jacket.

The others stood around the pair in a loose circle. They searched each other's eyes for information or guess, but found none. Eventually Logan spoke: "What the hell is this?"

Scott turned his head slowly from the sobbing girl. "This," he said, "is my sister."

* * *

After tending to his sister and leaving her unconscious in the medical bay with Kitty, Scott looked up the faces of the remaining crew. They gathered in the dining room, which lost its spirit from the night before. Instead of joking and laughing, the room was silent, all eyes on the doctor. Waiting.

Scott took a deep breath and held his hands behind his back. "I am not a normal human."

"No kidding," Remy mumbled.

Ignoring the Cajun, Scott continued. "I can poke holes through mountains if I open my eyes. 'Gifted' is the P.C. Term."

Remy snorted. "'Gifted?' Out here in de real world, dey call us freaks."

St. John nudged Remy with his elbow. "A fancy house and a stick up your ass upgrades you from freak to 'gifted.'"

"Good ta know," Remy replied.

Sick of the interruptions, Scott's voice rose. "Can I continue or does no one care to hear it?"

"Gumbo, Matches, shut up," barked Logan.

To avoid eye contact with anyone, Scott paced. "I was considered a powerful mutant. The Alliance tried to recruit me early for the X.S.E., but my father had other ideas. He used his money and influence to give me a career I wanted, in medicine. He was able to do the same with Rogue, my sister. Except she was more than gifted. With her gift, she gained other people's knowledge and, temporarily, other mutants powers. With one touch, everything you could do, she could do. Better, in most cases."

Looking up, he smiled at a distant memory. "She could be a real brat about it too. She used to. . . " His voice trailed off into an unrelated memory he later realized there was no point in sharing. "There was a problem though. She could control the powers of anyone else, but she couldn't control her own. She didn't want to go through life not being able to touch another human being." Again, Scott trailed off and found himself somewhere else. Remy pulled out a deck of cards and began shuffling. Soon, Scott started again. "There was a, a school. A, uh, a government-sponsored academy. We had never heard of it, but it had the most exciting program, the most advanced. We could have sent her anywhere; we had the money, but she wanted to go there. She wanted to learn to touch. She was fourteen.

"I. . .I got a few letters at first, and then I didn't hear for months. Finally I got a telepathic message. It wasn't long. She only absorbs powers temporarily. It just said, 'They're hurting us. Get me out.'"

The Witch spoke for the first time since they sat down to hear the tale. "How'd you do it?"

Leaning on the wall, Scott rung his hands in front of him. "Money. And, and luck. For two years I couldn't get near her. Then I was contacted by some men, some underground movement called X-Force. They, they said that she was in danger, that, that the government was. . .playing with her powers. Experimenting on mutants. If I funded them, they could sneak her out in cryo. Get her to Persephone, and from there, I could take her. . . wherever.

"Will she be all right?" Ororo asked.

Scott shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know what they did to her, or why. I just have to keep her safe."

"Did it at least work? Can she touch people?" asked Professor Xavier.

"No, she still can't touch people."

Professor Xavier rolled up to Scott's side, putting his hand on his shoulder. "That's. . . quite a story, son."

Logan rolled his eyes and pushed off the table he had been leaning on. "Yeah, a real tale of woe. Thing is, you've brought your troubles on us."

Scott's expression and voice was pleading. "I never thought -"

"No, you didn't." Logan pulled a toothpick from the counter and rolled it around his mouth. "Now we got a kidnapped Fed on board, the Alliance hard on our trail, and Kitty. . ."

Wanda leaned over to her husband. "How much does the Alliance know?"

St. John shrugged. "I can't say. I killed the bugger pretty quick so they might just have had our position."

Logan's voice struck them. "Or they might have personal profiles on each and every one of us. 'Til that Fed wakes up, we won't know."

"So, what do we do, mon ami?" Remy asked.

With all eyes on the Captain, Logan thought about his next move.

Unable to stand the silence, John interrupted Logan's thoughts. "Party like it's 1999? I vote for a bonfire!"

Logan passed behind John's chair and smacked him on the back of his head. "The job. We finish the job. I got word from Yuiko, she's waiting for us. We circle 'round to Whitefall, make the deal, get out. Keep flying."

Despite his fear, Scott asked the question on his mind: "What about us?"

Logan's icy blue eyes stared into Scott's soul. The young doctor shifted his weight nervously. After ten more seconds, Logan answered. "Kitty comes through, you and your sister'll get off at Whitefall."

"And if she doesn't?" Scott said with a little more confidence.

Logan licked his lips, then flipped his toothpick expertly into the trash. "Then you're getting off a bit sooner."

The crew was silent, looking every where but Scott's face. The Professor and Inara would not hold their tongues. "That would be murder," the Professor said, shocked.

Logan shrugged. "The boy made a decision."

Ororo stood up. "He didn't shoot her."

"Non, but somebody else on dis boat did. Why we ain't dealt wit' him yet?" Remy pulled out a deck of cards and shuffled.

Wanda hexed the cards into his face. "Kill a Fed? Can you think of a stupider thing to do?"

"I'm sure your hubby can," Remy shot back.

Attempting to squelch some of the arguing, Scott shouted above their voices. "You want to throw me out the airlock, fine, but Rogue is not a part of this."

Taking the opportunity for his voice to be heard, John suggested, "Can we maybe vote on the whole murdering people issue? My karma's soiled enough as is."

"We don't vote on my ship, because it's not the rutting town hall!" Logan's answer erupted into a table full of arguments.

"This is insanity. Logan -" Ororo objected.

John's voice had an unusual hinge of frustration to it. "I happen to think we're a ways beyond that now, Sir Wolverine." He turned to Wanda and spoke softer. "Come on, we're gonna talk this through, yeah?"

"I will not sit by while there's killing here," the Professor announced.

Remy looked at Xavier and his mouth turned up in an amused grin. "De Professor's got a mean streak. We'd best walk soft." He chuckled.

As the objections increased, Logan's enhanced hearing could take no more. "Shut up!" All mouths closed. Logan cleared his throat and the tone of his voice conveyed the truthfulness of the matter and tiredness. "This is how it is. We've got to deal with what's in front of us."

Before Logan could leave the room, Ororo blocked his way. "Logan, you know those two wouldn't survive a day in Whitefall. You throw them out, I'm leaving too."

Logan looked at her, his face void of all emotion. After a long moment he spoke. "Good idea. You're not a part of this business." Logan pushed past the goddess, who didn't stop him, and moved into the hallway.

Scott was on his heals. "What business is that, exactly?" Logan turned, surprised the boy had the balls to continue to talk to him. Scott took another step toward the Captain. "I'm a dead man. I can't know? Is it gold? Drugs? Pirate treasure? What is it that makes you so _afraid_ of the Alliance?"

Through clenched teeth, Logan replied. "You don't wanna go down this road with me, Slim."

His death sentence gave Scott a renewed confidence. "Oh, you're not afraid of them? I already know you'd sell me out to them for a pat on the head. Hell, you should probably be working for them. You certainly fit the profile -"

An ademantium laced fist stopped any more words from escaping Scott's mouth. Logan walked on. In the dining room doorway, Remy chuckled. "Saw dat comin'."

* * *

Later in Noatak's room in the guest wing, Remy and Logan walked in. In the chair sat Noatak, bound and gaged. Logan strutted to the Fed, smiled, then ripped off the duct tape covering his mouth. While Noatak gasped pain, Logan turned to Remy leaning next to the doorway. Over his shoulder, he called to Noatak, "You know what I want. Since no one on my crew is a willing telepath, I'm givin' Gumbo here the job to find out."

The Cajun pulled out a card from his jacket, charged it, then smiled. "He dinna say how."

As Logan passed Remy on the way out, he leaned over and whispered, "Now, you only have to scare him."

"Pain is scary."

Logan shook his head and exited. "Just do it right."

With only the two of them in the room, Remy found an empty chair and spun it around to sit opposite of Noatak. Remy continued to smile at him while pass the card nonchalantly through his fingers. They stared at each other until Noatak spoke. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?"

Remy smiled didn't fade. "Gosh, I never been in trouble wit' de law before. . ."

"Not like this you haven't. You think this is just a smuggling rap? The package that boy is carrying -"

"It's a girl. She's belle, too, 'cept I don' t'ink she's all t'ere, ya know? 'Course, not all of her has to be. . ."

"That girl is a precious commodity. They'll come after her. Long after you bury me they'll be coming."

Remy chuckled then slapped Noatak's leg. "Oh, I'm not gonna kill you, Noatak – what's your first name?"

"Kodiak."

"Kodiak? Kodiak Noatak? Your name rhymes?"

"Yes."

"That's funny. No, Kodiak, I'm not gonna kill you. I'm gonna stare at you wit' my demon eyes until I burn out your soul."

They stared at each other, then Noatak broke. "They know everything. They know every name, codename, record . . .they know how many nose hairs you've got."

Remy stood up, disappointed. "Merde, dey don' know a damn think. It's all over your face. I ain't even. . ." Remy played with his charged card before tossing it into the air. "Was gonna get me an ear, too. Ain' you an officer of the law? Well, don' dey teach you how to wit'stand interrogation? Can' even tell one lie. You'd never survive a day in de guild."

Kodiak took a deep breath an looked to his feet. "Okay...I can see you're not an idiot -"

Remy only shook his head. "Wish I could say de same, Kodiak, but dis is disappointing as hell."

The Fed glanced at the thief out of the corner of his eye. "Let me speak the language you will understand: Money. The girl is worth a lot of money. You kill me, there's nothing. If you help me out, you'll have enough to buy your own ship. A better ship."

Thinking, Remy tapped an uncharged card on his goatee. "Does helpin' you mean turnin' on de Capitan?"

Kodiak smiled and nodded.

* * *

Back on the bridge, tension rose between Captain Logan and St. John the pilot. "How'd they find us? You said we could get around them," Logan growled as he stormed in.

"I did and we did," John shot back. "It's not Alliance."

Logan looked at the controls. "You sure?"

"Too small." John pressed a few buttons. "There's no way a Sentinel will fit in one of those. 'A fighter that size couldn't get this deep into space on its own.'" John smiled.

Logan scowled. "I'm not quoting Star Wars with you, Matches. This is serious."

"You're always serious," the Aussie grumbled and squinted to read the monitor. "Uh, it's an older model Trans-U."

"I didn't think Trans-U's still operated."

"They don't."

Both men stared out into the blanket of space in silence. Logan's voice was barely audible. "Get me a visual."

"They're too far out -"

Logan slammed his fist on the control panel. "Get me something!"

"Okay, okay, Captain Kirk. Just don't ask me to outfit the ship for whales." St. John spun his chair around and flicked a plethora of switches and knobs. "There's a lot of radiation..." He raised an eyebrow. "They're operating without core containment. Well, that's as mad as a cut snake, that's suicide..." His voice trailed off.

Again, both men stared out into space. Logan said one word: "Morlocks." The two could finally discern a small menacing looking ship approaching from the sea of stars. As it appeared to grow, John's mumbling grew audible. "Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god..."

Logan slapped John on the back of his head to shut him up, then leaned over and pressed the intercom button. "This is the captain. We are passing another ship. Looks to be Morlocks, probably a raiding party. If we try to run, they'll have to chase us. It's how they are, so everyone stay calm. We'll pass them in a minute, so we'll se what they do. Witch, I need you on the bridge."

Wanda dropped what she was doing and ran to the bridge. She caught the later between decks with one hand and swung her foot up to the second rung.

Scott stuck his head out from another room and exclaimed, "Wait! I-I don't understand."

The witch snorted. "You've never heard of Morlocks?"

Scott looked around the corridor, slightly embarrassed. "Well, campfire stories. Deformed mutants gone savage on the edge of space, killing and -"

"They're not stories," Wanda interrupted.

Scott's face paled. "What happens if they board us?"

For once, the witch was frightened. This story had no room for exaggeration to frighten the ignorant. Her face was stoic. "If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. If we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order." With a flip of her head, Wanda disappeared to the bridge above.

As the ships grew closer, faces grew more solemn. The Professor and Scott stood in the infirmary, overseeing the patients. Remy pulled a blanket off his wall, revealing his stash of cards, thievery tools, and other miscellaneous trinkets he's collected over the years.

In her shuttle, Ororo sat on a couch and pulled out a small decorative box. She gently slid back the lid to reveal a syringe and a vial of dark liquid. She had acquired it years ago and prayed every day that she would never have to use it.

On the bridge, Wanda stood next to Logan and behind St. John in his chair. A haphazardly discarded dinosaur toy fell to the floor. The sound radiated through the room, causing Wanda to jump. Her hand gripped St. John's shoulder. Without a word, he clasped it in return.

The silence bothered St. John almost as much as the Morlocks. "There's a magnetic grappler." He pointed outside the bow. "They get ahold of us with that -"

"No talking unless they're altering course," barked Logan. "Witch, you be on guard to hit them with everything you got."

Wanda closed her eyes and began her meditation. Her hand never left St. John's shoulder. She opened her eyes and found the Morlock ship dangerously close. Logan and St. John held their breath. The witch consciously willed herself to exhale and keep her emotions and powers in check. She felt John's hand relax and he exhaled. That's when she knew they were save.

"They're holding course," the Aussie announced. He chuckled and flicked some switches. "I guess they weren't hungry." Wanda glared at him and his inappropriate joke. John coughed. "Didn't expect to see them here..."

"They're pushing out further every year, too," said Wanda.

Logan's eye's never left the bow. "It's getting awful crowded in my sky."

* * *

The bright lights of the infirmary stung his eyes, but Logan had some thinking to do. He studied the unconscious girl with the stripes on the table, wondering how she could cause so much trouble.

A bright, but weak voice broke his concentration. "Hey, Captain."

Logan turned around; Kitty was smiling at him. "Hey, Half-pint, what's the news?"

"I'm shiny, Captain." Kitty's face was pale, but her dopey smile still lit up the room. "A-okay. I can't feel much below my belly, though. It's, like, getting cold."

Logan returned her smile, in his own way. He fetched a blanket and drew it up to her chin. "Rest, kid. Something's gonna break down on this boat real soon. Who else is going to fix it?"

The mutant mechanic patted Logan's arm. "Well, like, don't worry. Doc totally fixed me up." Her smile widened and a little color inched it's way into her face. "He's nice."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Don't go working too hard on that crush, Half-pint. Doc won't be with us for long."

"You're nice, too," she confessed.

"No, I'm not," Logan said with a smile. "I'm a mean old man."

"You're a mean old, old, old man." Kitty's eyelids fell, then reopened. "He wasn't gonna let me die. He was just trying to...It's nobody's fault. Okay? Just promise me you'll remember that?"

Logan grabbed her hand as her eyelids fell again. "I'll keep it in mind."

Kitty spread another grin, this time without opening her eyes. "You are a n ice man, Captain. Always looking after us. You just gotta have faith in people." Her head fell to the right and she opened her eyes to look at the sleeping Rogue. "She's a real beauty, isn't she?"

Logan didn't have time to form a smart reply before Kitty's hand when limp in his own. He let go and it fell over the side of the bed.

* * *

The Companion's shuttle was decorated to the nines. It held many comforts that reminded Scott of his old life, but it made him uncomfortable. It smelled funny too.

Ororo turned around and slipped a few packets into his hand. "Thank you," he said.

"This is just a standard Companion immunisation package. I'm not sure it'll help in this -"

Scott smiled appreciatively. "It won't hurt. Supplies down there are pretty rudimentary."

"Is there anything else I can do?"

He looked at Ororo thoughtfully. "I don't think so. But I appreciate it."

Ororo reached out and touched Scott's arm. "Kitty's very dear. To all of us."

Shame filled Scott. "I...I'm sorry. For my part in what happened. See...I've never...I mean, I don't know how to -"

Ororo took a step forward. "You're lost in the woods. We all are. Even Logan. The only difference is, he likes it that way."

Logan entered the room on cue. "I'm never lost. My nose knows." He turned to Scott. "What's your business here?"

Put off my Logan's attitude, Ororo said, "It's my business. The usual. I gave the boy a free thrust, since he's not long for this world. What are you doing in my shuttle?"

Sensing this conversation had nothing to do with him, Scott sneaked out of the shuttle. Logan noticed but let him get a head start. "It's my shuttle," he said. "You rent it."

Ororo sat down with her back to Logan. Over her shoulder, she said, "Then when I'm behind on the rent, you can enter unasked."

He shrugged. "Though you were leaving, anyhow."

She raised an eyebrow. "That depends on you."

Logan set his jaw and stormed out of the room. Scott had gotten enough of a head start. He was able to catch up with the boy in the cargo bay. "You'll ruin her, too, you know," Logan said after him. Scott turned around. Logan continued, "What you don't understand, is that everyone on this ship, even a 'legitimate businesswoman' like her, their lives can be snatched away because of that Fed. You have a solution?"

Scott gulped but held his ground. "I don't."

"Someone's gonna have to deal with him. It should be you, but you don't have the guts." He paused and licked his lips, otherwise his face was grim. "And you don't have the time."

Scott was lost. "What? What do you mean?"

"Kitty's dead."

The world slowed. Scott clutched the packets in his hand and leap down to the floor of the cargo bay. He ran as fast as he could to the infirmary. He stood in the doorway in shock. On the center bed, Kitty was sitting up talking with the Professor. She smiled and waved when she saw Scott. As the doctor regained his breath, he looked in the direction of the bridge. "That man's psychotic."

Meanwhile on the bridge, Logan, St. John, Wanda, and Remy were busting a gut. "You are psychotic," John managed to get out between gasps for breath.

Logan slapped the Aussie on the back. "No, I've lived with you too long. You should have seen his face...Oh...I'm a bad man."

"And Kitty's really okay?" asked Wanda.

Logan nodded. "Yeah. Tell the truth, I didn't expect her to heal this fast. Shades knows his trade, I'll give him that."

"Awww, you gave him a nickname," John cooed. Before Logan could react, the console started beeping. "I got it!" John exclaimed. "We are being hailed."

Logan put on his business face. "Yuriko. We're close enough for vid. Put her up."

On the screen a Japanese woman with flawless skin and a cowboy hat appeared. She scratched her face gently with her long silver fingernails. "Logan-son?" she said.

"Hello, Yuriko."

"I didn't think to be hearing from you so soon after our last encounter."

"We may not have parted on the best of terms. Certain words were exchanged. Also, certain bullets. But that's air through the engine. It's past. We're business people."

"Very well. Is it true about the cargo? Your offer is very...generous for that much treasure."

"It's imprinted – Alliance – hence the discount."

"Government goods?"

"If that doesn't work for you, no harm."

"The Alliance does not scare me. I like that you are up front about it. We can deal. I will send coordinates for a rendezvous."

"See you in the world." Logan punched a button on the console and Yuriko's face disappeared. He took a moment, then swung his head to the others. "That woman's planning to shoot me again."

Remy nodded and pushed off from the wall. "If she meant to pay you, she'd haggle de price down."

St. John gestured toward the blank screen. "A little bitty effort to hide it woulda been nice."

Turning to exit the bridge, Logan knocked a box of St. John's toys to the floor. Wanda raised an eyebrow to the unusual outburst. "We don't have to deal with her."

Logan shook his head. "Yes, we do."

"Remy has an idea: Why donna we shoot her first?"

St. John nodded. "It is her turn."

"Shootin' her doesn't get us what we need either," said Logan.

Wanda stepped toward the boys. "There are moons we haven't seen. We could try our luck -"

"Our luck?" Logan turned, fangs blaring. "What luck? You depend on luck, no matter how powerful your are, you end up on the drift – no fuel, no prospects... beggin' for Alliance made-work. And towed out to the scrap belt. That ain't us. Not ever. Yuriko has money to pay, and she will, one way or another. We'll get through this."

Across the ship, Kodiak worked his way through his duct taped bindings.

* * *

**A/N**: Wow! Only two more parts to the first episode to go. I really want to get to the War Stories episode, but at this pace, I'll be lucky to finish this one.


End file.
